Sweets vs sex toys – Bouquet alternatives for the bridesmaids

Sweets or sex toys? It’s a tough decision. But one thing our guest blogging grooms Gordon and Euan know for sure is that their bridesmaids won’t be carrying a traditional bouquet down the aisle. Over to Gordon…

You know every time I feel like everything’s been sorted and all the decisions have been made, another question pops up or someone goes “Have you thought about this?”. I’ve been led to believe that many brides have a very distinct vision of how their wedding should go. However, I was born in 1982, a very heteronormative world and Euan, bless him, I think had planned to never get into a relationship. Almost all of this has been made up on the fly and decided as we go, hence the missed bits.

Some of these questions are simple enough, for example the venue doesn’t have any real ales, so they need equipment to handle the beer that’s being created. Simple response, I personally know the manager of five pubs within walking distance that serve real ales. Literally two messages and this is sorted.

A big stickler question we got was from my bridesmaids, were they getting bouquets? Well no, of course not – as previously mentioned, no cut flowers. So, on the bridal chat, actually I promised you more information about bridesmaids. I have only a small handful of family members attending, no father, no brother, so rather than no-one why not surround myself with those I’d love to have stand with me on the day.

BEST GALS

Now, you already know why I’ve picked Beth. Marie, well, Marie has children, grandchildren, a number of different businesses and recently adopted a feral cat. Nothing phases Marie, she’ll be the one that takes me aside whenever I have a meltdown. And believe me I’ll have a few as I’m very much an emotional heart on sleeve kinda guy. Marie and her husband are also the ones providing the beer, wine and plants, and are some of the best people I know.

Then there’s Natalie… I met Natalie when I took over the cocktail bar, same time she took over another pub in the district. Well, actually met her on the Christmas night out and you know when you drink with someone for the first time and “an impression gets made” – not our words, our bosses’ at the time. Several years down the line and hundreds of miles apart, we’re still the same. I’m both in equal measures excited for and dreading the hen party organised by Natalie.

Last but not least, Sasha. Sasha was my assistant manager that I hired in the previously mentioned bar and in my entire career she was the best staffing decision I ever made. With Sasha’s support we managed to make that bar the best it ever had been, breaking company records in many areas, and another permanent friendship was made.

Four girls – one for partying, one for handling me, one for getting stuff done and Beth is all three, and honestly, I couldn’t imagine where my life would have gone without them, and I can’t think of a better team to get me down the aisle – sane, stable and loved.

RUGBY BALLS & RETRO SWEETS

So anyway, bridal chat and what to carry. Euan and I had so many thoughts; puppies hmmmm amazing but impractical, nobody wants to be poop scooping and Bear might get excitable. Kittens, same issue. Rugby balls, I’m loving this idea, but the girls seem a bit trepidatious, could be an issue if they’re dropped and bounce, got images of them going over the balcony and hitting the pre-set tables below. Books, well this idea has merit, could even pick one for each girl specifically.

Sorry for the crudeness but we even considered giant double ended floppy two adult bedroom toys, at this image Euan and I are crying but OMG trepidatious isn’t even close to the response I get from the girls!

Lollipop bouquets? Euan has that look in his eye again, OK decision made, we can make them at home, which is ideal, the local craft store has everything we need, and the local sweetie store can get the lollies.

While we’re on the subject, we are doing a sweetie buffet, the aforementioned sweetie shop in town, ‘Rosie’s’ sells all those old-style confectionaries – cola cubes, sour plums, flying saucers, mint eclairs, to name but a few so Pam the owner has graciously agreed to provide a large mixed selection to keep our guests’ energy up in the evening. This also allows our bouquets to serve a double purpose, by simply adding them to the buffet when its laid out. And we do love a double purpose item.