LOVE IS LOUD

CELEBRATING LIFE’S WINS

On a small scale I (Sarah) made my 10th wedding anniversary party my own mini act of rebellion. It was back when the wedding industry felt forgotten and lost (no need for me to remind you what else was happening in the world in the early 2020’s). 

Of course, I wanted to celebrate my husband and I, our relationship and all that we’d been through together. But I also chose to celebrate joy, to salute my fellow wedding suppliers and to party together like the good old days. It felt like we were collectively sticking a middle finger up to pandemics, isolation, separation and division.

Here’s a little excerpt from the short speech I made…

“It’s been an interesting few years to say the least. And my main takeaway from it all is just that I’m really fucking grateful. So grateful to be safe and loved… by you all. I think it’s worth celebrating life’s wins and 10 years married is a win to me. I just like you all and wanted to have a wee party together to celebrate making it through the last few years! So today is every bit for you as it is for us.”

Which brings us onto…

CELEBRATE JOY. ALWAYS.

Throughout history – and it feels like history is repeating itself right now – there has been oppression. Love in many of its forms has been frowned upon – and much, much worse. Standing together and celebrating love when the world is trying to silence, diminish, and erase love and joy, feels like a hugely important act of rebellion.

A wedding that includes everyone, all identities, all love stories, all backgrounds, declares loudly and proudly that…

“We exist, we matter and we’re not going anywhere.”

Love is powerful. 

WEDDINGS CAN BE A PLATFORM FOR CHANGE

Whether we like it or not, love is political. We only need to look at what is happening around the world to see that. 

We need to be the change we want to see in the world. But how can we do that at a wedding? It’s actually easier than you think. We’ve put our heads together and come up with some ways we’ve seen couples include advocacy into their celebrations.

• Support diverse and ethical wedding suppliers. 

• Think about your wedding speeches and vows. If something is important to you both then say it aloud. 

• What about your wedding favours, instead of throwaway items that get left behind at the end of the night go for charitable favours or donations instead. Consumerism is rife in the wedding industry (that’s a whole other blog post right there) but we can step away from that, support our chosen charities and convey a message. 

• Look at your guestlist. You want to be surrounded by people who love and support you, who fight for your rights.  

These may feel like small acts, tiny gestures in an ocean of uncertainty, but they all add up and can send a powerful message. 

WEDDING SUPPLIERS, LEAN IN.

As wedding suppliers we can use our skills for good. If you’re not showing up then you need to think about why you’re working in this amazing industry that celebrates love every single day. 

We’re not asking you to rethink your entire business, small changes make all the difference here. 

Take a look at your marketing, are you being inclusive? We want the right people to find us and the wrong ones to sod off, so be loud and proud about your inclusivity. Do you actively support diverse clients? Don’t just show up in Pride Month or Black History Month. Love is inclusive all year round. 

We’ve seen wedding suppliers offering free or donation based services to marginalised couples, we’ve noticed charitable donations whenever a booking comes in, we’ve spotted wedding photographers capturing protests and community events. There are so many ways you can lean in and be part of a bigger change.

FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY

We get it, there will always be pushback to any act of rebellion.

The thought of mixing weddings with activism is kind of weird when you first think about it. But, let’s face it, weddings are kind of weird anyway. Someone ‘giving away’ their child in this day and age. Single people gathering to catch a bouquet of flowers, a white outfit to signal virtue or a night out to ‘celebrate the last night of freedom’. 

And yet, using your wedding to celebrate and support a cause you care about, there’s nothing weird about that. If something matters to you, then why not let it be part of your day. 

LOVE WINS, ALWAYS.

Let’s make joy louder than any hate. We’ll keep celebrating love, not because the world is perfect, but because it’s not. 

We support love in all its forms because love is messy, complicated, and beautiful. Keep on loving, keep on showing up and, together, we’ll prove that joy and love always wins. 

And on that note, we thought we’d end this blog post as we began. By loudly celebrating joy. 

Meet the wonderful Molly and Evie. They got married last year, with a wedding that was packed full of joy and love. A day that shone a light on their love, that celebrated the two of them and all that they had gone through to reach their wedding. 

Here’s Molly, 

“Evie and I met in university halls the year The Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Act 2014 was passed. The romantic timing almost seems like fate in a way, but it highlights the issue that so many couples like us face in today’s society. 

While LGBTQ+ peoples have always existed, our ability to legally marry is just over a decade old. As a trans-lesbian couple our very existence is a rebellious act of joy in the current world we live in.

Like most couples loving each other is easy, planning a wedding is the stressful part. Added on top of our situation was navigating a wedding industry that appears very cis-het on the surface. With few lesbian/gay weddings visible in many vendors portfolios. Seeing a couple like ourselves always eased the extra pressure of approaching vendors.

In the end, we were very lucky that all the vendors we approached were so welcoming and open. A special shoutout to our dress maker, Mette Ballie, who not only created both of our gorgeous bridal gowns, but made us feel safe and welcome every step of the way. And to our photographer Dan at Fern Photography, someone who produced timeless photographs and went the extra mile to make sure we felt comfortable throughout. It’s people like them that make the Scottish wedding industry great.

Weddings are the most visible display of love a couple can make, and in turn those visible displays are representation for the next generation. We need all the representation and visible displays right now, in a world that feels so scary, with the Supreme Court ruling of the legal definition of a woman, and the U.K. plunging in the European Rainbow Index of LGBTI equality laws .

Our wedding was not only the happiest day of our lives but a day to acknowledge that people like us exist and we deserve a happily ever after just as much as our cis-het counterparts.”

And doesn’t Molly just sum it up perfectly, “our very existence is a rebellious act of joy in the current world…”

Here’s to loving loudly, loving joyfully and most of all, loving rebelliously. 

We cannot wait to celebrate love and joy and happily ever afters with you throughout this wedding season…and the next…and the next.

– Cat + Sarah x

Molly + Evie’s images by Fern Photography // Sarah’s anniversary images by Photography 78 // All other images by Joy Story