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An Essay On Marriage

One of the things we have loved about Jillian since the beginning of her updates is her honesty. We admire how these two have dealt with the challenges of getting married overseas and putting their own stamp on all things wedding related. This month is a from the heart post…

“Bader Epic Moon has officially commenced! We’ve now been traveling close to 2 weeks, and it’s crazy to think that we’re just getting started. More about the Epic Moon a bit later in the post, but I want to make sure to cover all the wedding related business first!
“One of the largest developments that happened this month had to do with the legality of our upcoming nuptials. Because we couldn’t apply for our visa until we were 3 months out from the wedding, that meant that our application was submitted about 2 weeks before leaving for our Epic Moon. We weren’t able to get an appointment at the processing center until the day before our flight left, and we realized that we would need to mail our passports to the UK in order to finalize the visa.

“Slight problem – we need our passports to travel! We searched for any alternative way to finalize the visa (even going to an office in the United Kingdom), but we came up empty.

“We contacted our minister to let him know that it looked like a legal wedding in Scotland wasn’t going to happen due to our travel plans. He let us know that the only other option was to perform a civil ceremony in California, and then he would bless the marriage at our ceremony in Scotland.
“It was definitely a difficult decision, as the religious aspect of being married by an ordained minister was of vital importance to us. After a lot of discussion, we decided we would complete whatever “paperwork” the law required of us ahead of time.

“Fun fact – it’s insanely easy to get married in California. We had a friend accompany us to the local county clerk’s office, and less than an hour later we were legally man and wife. We made some very purposeful decisions in our legal ceremony though – for example, we didn’t have any family there; we also refrained from saying “I do” during the vows, instead opting for a simple yes; and finally, we saved the kiss for the ceremony on Scotland.
“I know this is a touchy subject in the wedding world, and so I thought it was important to discuss it here. To some, the legal aspect of the marriage is what is special, and so I would never want to make light of people who have civil ceremonies. For us, the blessing is what truly seals our commitment. Our anniversary will be September 5, 2017, and we will not refer to each other as husband and wife until then. While it’s not a fact that we’re hiding (we have told our families), we’re also not advertising it. To anyone involved in our wedding, that is the day that we will hold dear.
“Phew! That was quite an essay on the very concept of marriage. Sorry to get so philosophical this morning! Other wedding activities this month included printing and putting together all of our ceremony programs, and packing our suitcase for my parents to bring to us in Scotland. It was a bit hard to imagine every little thing I may need for the wedding week so far in advance, so I’ve been periodically sending messages requesting small additions.

“One slight hiccup that happened the day before we left was that I put on my beautiful wedding dress, and found that it was too tight. I may have gone a bit overboard on the brewery tours these last few weeks…
“I immediately went into problem solving mode and came up with multiple back up plans. Plan #1: watch what I eat and attempt to exercise more. Good luck as we travel around delicious European countries! Plan #2: Find a tailor in Edinburgh that can work some magic on my dress and take out the seams 3 days before the wedding. Plan #3: I found a back up dress that I got at a ridiculous sale price.
“I may have had a minor freak out, but my obsessive problem solving skills came in handy, and my wonderful man helped keep me calm. Crisis (hopefully) averted.

“And finally, a small Epic Moon recap (since that’s where all these pictures are from!). Iceland was stop number 1, and it definitely did not disappoint. We had 4 full days to explore this beautiful country, and we enjoyed every minute of it. Some of the highlights included a dip in the Blue Lagoon, riding Icelandic horses, hiking up and down waterfalls, and trying some truly fantastic Icelandic craft beer. I would happily return to this country some day. Next up is Spain, and Matt and I are ready for some warm weather again!
Loving Jillian’s ‘essay on marriage’ and her honesty. Anyone else struggling with the legalities of planning an overseas wedding? Alie x

Jillian and Matt are based in Orange County, California and are holding their destination wedding at Borthwick Castle, near Edinburgh this September. Jillian loves Scotland because “you can have a beautiful, romantic wedding, but it’s also a little badass!”